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Shame

Shame is undoubtedly the most powerful challenge we all have to overcome in order to live in our authentic selves. The distinction has been made between so-called "healthy shame" (a bit of an oxymoron, in my opinion) and "toxic shame", healthy shame being the possession of a moral compass, conscience and sense of morality and humility and "toxic shame" being an overly critical, unrelentant "super-ego" who blames us and believes we are somehow fundamentally defective. The antidote to a lack of so-called "healthy shame" is humility, vulnerability and the ability to face and admit our shortcomings and to commit to healthy, responsible behavior. The antidote to toxic shame is self-acceptance, self-forgiveness and the realization that we have often carried the shame of those who have abused us. We must have both a healthy sense of morality and a genuine sense of self-acceptance, the ability to forgive ourselves for our past transgressions and commitment, once we become aware, to change our behaviors. Shame begins to become dismantled once we share our true feelings/ behavior with at least one other human being. Sharing within a safe, supportive group such as The Pathwork groups encourages and allows for even more transcendence of shame. When we finally arrive at a point of self-acceptance of our humanity, our frailty, our transgressions and imperfection, we are well on the way to healing shame.This then allows for a genuine sense of self-love which is the foundation for loving and being loved by others.


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Sometimes shame is one of the many reasons why we are afraid to speak up. We are lack of courage to deliver what is really on our mind because we over-think what will happen. In order to conquer it, we should have the courage enough to face it. We must keep in mind what will the positive outcome if we are able to let go of the things we are holding. We should not be afraid of what may people think of us and do not let shame be the reason of our fall. We should learn how to stand for our rights.


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